Adventures in Podunk

Wow, two entries within like an hour, how lucky are you? And what’s this with the regular entries and such?

(Warning: you are going to find my previous entry quite hypocritical after reading this one. This sucker is loaded with useless bullshit.)

It’s rough being a geek in a rural area, it really really is. Up until about two weeks ago, I used satellite internet because nothing else (besides dialup, oy) was available here. Finally the cable company decided we had hit the 10-year anniversary of being behind the rest of society, and bestowed cable internet upon us.

As if that weren’t excitement supreme, check this out! We are getting MAIL DELIVERY starting tomorrow! I don’t have to drive to send/receive mail, it will come to my house. Boy howdy, ain’t that fancy? I’s a-gettin me a real mailbox an ev’rythang. *snort, spit*

Seriously, this has been a point of contention with me for years, it starts in about 1993 when Scott and I got our first living-in-sin apartment. We had the tiny lockbox things at the entrance of the apartment complex. God forbid you got a notice for a package, because it was 6 months before you could get to the Festus (yep, I kid you not, there is a town named Festus here and it’s one of the hotspots…and even better is that most of the mail is addressed to FETUS) post office. It was difficult to go to work and also meet the scheduling requirements of a small town post office. Instead of throwing the package on our porch, it was way more fun to see how many inches of dust our packages could accumulate while waiting for us to free that 1-2pm every other Wednesday time window they conveniently offered for us to pick them up. Okay, it wasn’t THAT bad.

Then we got our first house in ’95, in the town where my dad was Postmaster. At the post office that I could see from my back yard. In the town where that post office didn’t offer delivery to houses within 1/4 mile of it. Don’t even bother trying to comprehend that, I tried for years and it really is pointless because you simply won’t. So, we were forced to have a PO Box. At least with my inside connections, I could knock on the back door or yell over the counter to the people that worked there and ask for my stuff during non-business hours. I begged my dad for years to get mail delivery, it was about 8 years of it, no joke. Finally my dad was promoted to a new postmaster assignment, and his replacement let us have mail delivery. How sad is that?

So we had two years of mail bliss at our old house, and once we moved were once again stuck without normal mail delivery. It’s all at the entrance of the subdivision, and packages have to be picked up and dropped off at the post office. And I send/receive packages on a nearly daily basis. That’s been about a year & a half now of that. Until tomorrow…I love you, tomorrow!

I’ll be putting up my temporary mailbox today in anticipation of tomorrow’s delivery. Maybe I’ll even decorate it with happy face balloons. I ordered a schmancy brick monstrosity for our permanent mailbox, but it won’t be done for a few weeks. You should see how yoooooge this thing is. I could mail one of my children to you (and be careful, I just might)! But dammit, I deserve it after all the mail persecution I have been sujected to. God as my witness, I’ll never step foot in a post office again!

I’m not one to have nothing to complain about, so my next bitchfest shall be about 3G cell service.