They just don’t fake ’em like they used to

As most of you know due to my incessant whining, me & the little guy have been knocked on our butts with a major stomach flu. I’ll spare you the disgusting details, but it’s been ROUGH.

So when Emma nudged me at about 6am this morning, saying that her stomach felt sick, I just cut her off with a swish of my hand, using the last of the energy I obtained from several hours of sleep. “Just go back to bed, I’ll call you in sick today.” I say.

A few hours later, I wake to the stomach-churning smell of food cooking. I warned her that she shouldn’t be eating much, if at all. She eats breakfast. Then eats lunch. Both without incident. As I am taking in 1/8 teaspoon-sized sips of Cup-A-Soup (as a sidenote, the most healing substance on earth), she asks if there is any more of it left.

Sick my foot. At least in my generation when faking a sick day, we were smart enough to go hungry to add to the performance. Heck, that’s the only way you got the NEXT day off, you know, the one where your mom says, “We better not chance it, let’s call you in sick one more day.” Then, at about 2pm that second day you ‘miraculously’ find the ability to hold down some of that Cup-A-Soup. And it tastes so freaking good, because you are so freaking starving. Saltines taste like nothing you have ever experienced, and you eat a whole stack before you realize how thirsty you are. But the starvation was worth staying home from school.

Guess who’s going to school tomorrow?


1 Response to “They just don’t fake ’em like they used to”

  1. 1 Debbie
    February 8, 2007 at 3:01 pm

    Heheh– you could have just had my mother– I just said I wasn’t going to school and that was all it took. 🙂
    At least Emma made a “miraculous recovery!”
    I hope you and Reid are on the mend.

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