God, I miss him.

Today I finally got the courage to clean up his things. It was REALLY hard. I had to throw his food away and empty his litter box (yes, I had left it the way it was, he rarely used it because he pottied outside). It made me feel so empty, although I tried to be as matter-of-fact about it as I could.

Then I went to the spot where Scott buried him for the first time. It was like the night we lost him all over again. I hadn’t allowed myself any closure, because I just didn’t want to believe it was true, it was just too hard to think about it. I just imagined he was outside a lot, or on a kitty vacation. 😛 But he is gone and it’s hitting me like a kick in the stomach. I really don’t feel like crying today, but have no choice.

I hate this huge permanent unfillable gap. God, I miss him. 😦


2 Responses to “God, I miss him.”

  1. 1 Mom
    February 27, 2005 at 11:12 am

    Nothing hurts quite so much as losing a beloved member of the family. Allow yourself the time to grieve Cosmo, and in time the fond memories you have of him will heal your heart and give you peace.

  2. 2 Christina
    February 27, 2005 at 2:33 pm

    Mel, that must have been so hard ((hugs))

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