First off, you will probably also hear me referred to as “Bunny.”  Believe me, if anyone is the opposite of the person you would envision being called Bunny, that would be me.  I’m the Bunny and the anti-Bunny all in one person.  The conflict keeps me in constant turmoil.

Shall I share with you the musings of this day, so you get the feel of the inner Dorf?  I thought so.  It is most unexciting.

Today was the first day of our new weekly “Daddy takes care of the kids while mommy relaxes” agreement.  Every Sunday, Husband is to get up with the kids and do the morning breakfast/play routine.  He didn’t feed them anything poisonous, so all in all I would call it a success.  Boy had on a clean diaper and everything.

I fought with Boy most of the first half of the day to take a nap.  Teething just kicks my ass.  I have had this child attached to my boob so much the last three days that his lips have fused to my areola.  It is the ONLY thing that makes him even halfway happy.  He never did take a nap today, even after taking two 30-minute car rides.  It’s just insane!

I managed to squeeze in a shower, but afterwards was saddened at the realization that the new bathroom rug I bought shrunk dramatically after I washed it and the non-skid thingy sticks out from the edges.  It fit so perfectly when it was new!  Sigh…now I have to cut the non-skid thingy.  Why is life so cruel?

So, about 2pm I finally packed up the family and we went to our local Sam’s Wholesale Club.  Why I adore these places is beyond me.  We have a membership at Sam’s and Costco and they are basically the same damn thing.  I am mesmerized by the giant cans of tuna and toilet paper by the gross.  Who wouldn’t be really?  I was very well-behaved and bypassed all the junk food.  I bought fruit, pork tenderloin, books for a board book exchange, a coloring book for Girl, and other things that I can’t recall.  But they were all really good things, trust me.

After Sam’s, I took Girl and Boy into Babies R Us (damn if I can’t make a backwards R here) while Husband went to the sporting goods store next door.  I went crazy on bowls, feeding utensils, bibs and sippy cups.  I was drawn in by the bright colors and catchy packaging.  Oh, and I did get drawer and cabinet latches because the doctor told me it would be bad for Boy to drink bleach.  Doctors, what do they know?

Came home, tried to fight Boy down for a nap AGAIN, but no go.  I decided that everyone was to figure out their own dinner.  Tried to get some mommy alone time, but no go.  Fought Boy to go to sleep for the night (which really isn’t true, he will get up 3+ times tonight as always), and FINALLY success!!!  He is sleeping now, hot damn!

Please do not be overcome by the excitement of my day, I promise to not do this to you again.  Please, seek a physician if you experience an oily anal discharge or itching genitals.

BunnyDorf, over and out


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